Thursday, April 10, 2014
I have been thinking about wounds, healing, and scars. I recently shared with my son that he needed to address issues that are going on inside of him so that years from now, they don’t surface. Ironically, I have my own issues that have risen from an incident that took place on November 17th of 1987! A wound was created that day that has affected every aspect and area of my life… until now. A wound simply put, is an injury (harm or damage). In order for a scar to form, the injury has to be treated. After sharing with a dear soul, it was asked of me how my injury has affected life; my relationship with the Lord, to which I answered that it hadn’t. I was encouraged to write two lists. One on how it has affected me, one on how it has not. Needless to say the list on how it has not affected me is empty. Among other things, there has been bitterness, shame, anger, pain, and poor self-worth. The bitterness and anger I have carried has left a scar on my soul… The wound in my soul is interfering with my life. I have never treated the wound so I cannot really call it a scar, for if a wound goes untreated, it remains a wound. “Scar tissue is connective tissue that has contracted and become dense and fibrous. It replaces normal skin after an injury. They result from the biological process of wound repair in the tissues of the body. Scarring is a natural part of the healing process” (internet assistance). I need to address it so that that it can begin to scar, and heal properly. It has blackened part of my heart. This sin that was done against me, I choose to carry for all these years has shame, anger, guilt and so many other negative emotions. January 25, 2014 began a new chapter in my life! I am working on processing what has happened; have forgiven the person responsible for the violation, as well as myself for blaming myself all these years for something that I had no choice in. Finally, for the first time in my life, I am processing what happened to me, forgiving, embracing, and freeing myself of the past. For the first time in my life, I like who I am becoming, and I like me. I like Debbie. This is a huge step for me. Psalm 139: 15 states: “I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.” I believe it. I am slowly getting to a place that I can talk about what happened, and it be just that, something that happened. I don’t want it to define who I am any longer. “In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace.” (Ephesians 1:7). I am thankful for the freedom there is in forgiveness. It gives me a greater picture of the freedom we have in Christ. When Christ forgives, it is GONE. “‘This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, says the LORD: I will put My laws into their hearts, and in their minds I will write them,’ then He adds, ‘Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.’ Now where there is remission of these, there is no longer an offering for sin” (Hebrews 10: 16-18).