Foolishness - Grace

Oh how many times have I not done what I was told and found myself somewhere I didn't want to be? Jonah should be an example to me... I never paid attention to this portion before. The waters had surrounded him... even to his soul. Jonah had weeds wrapped around his head. After he cried out to God, God brought him out of the pit. It was his own fault that he was there, but God in His grace rescued Jonah from his own foolish ways. I'm so thankful that God is God and He forgives and restores. I hate that I fail Him, and do not desire to, but I still do... daily... God of mercy, and God of grace I love You, and thank You for never giving up on me. In Jesus Name, Amen. 

"The waters surrounded me, even to my soul; The deep closed around me; Weeds were wrapped around my head. I went down to the moorings of the mountains; The earth with its bars closed behind me forever; Yet You have brought up my life from the pit, O Lord , my God" (Jonah 2:5-6).

Light Touch~

I remember my former Pastor’s wife saying “keep a light touch on things.”  This was encouragement to not value any earthly possession more than life and relationship with Christ.  Realize that there is no “thing” that we can save or take with us when our time here on this earth is over.  Regardless of where your faith is, no one has ever been able to take anything of tangible worth or value to the grave with them.  During these past few weeks of watching the fires on the west coast, the devastation in Houston and surrounding areas, earthquake in Mexico, and the current hurricane Irma that has already destroyed land, taken lives, and is soon to be making landfall on the east coast has made that statement come back to my mind.  

Keep a light touch on things.  

I was sharing with a few friends at work last week about this.  Thinking about all of the loss in Houston, the houses that will need to be leveled, totaled vehicles, loss of most earthly possessions makes this more real.  No matter how much we acquire, we cannot save anything, or control what happens to things.   

As I look around my house at all of the “things” that I have, I have to admit that there are items that I would hate to lose, but none that are more valuable than my children.  They are the only thing I truly care to “take with me” when I go.  Praying for those who have to find new normal, and who have to start from scratch.  

Praying that communities come together to support each other.  Praying that we can all learn to keep a light touch on things. 

Cherish what you have~

Written January 6, 2014 -

If you are married, go tell your spouse you love them! Things may be difficult right now, but it is a moment. Take a moment to remember why you are married in the first place. Remember those butterflies in your stomach at the very thought of them; those feelings that you couldn't possibly spend enough time together. You made a commitment, keep it. This world is full of things that will try to destroy your union. Don’t give in to the temptations tossed out there by the devil himself. Whatever is going on right now is temporary… good or bad. Embrace the difficulties, for in them there are opportunities for growth and strength to the marriage. If things are good, continue to pour into each other, for certain there will come challenges. Do not ever think it is ok to get chummy with a member of the opposite sex at work or anywhere else. It may begin innocently, but can be a great tool for the STUPID devil. You may think: They are so easy to talk to… They understand my struggles… They “get me”… If you are single, and they are single, GO FOR IT! If you have committed yourself in marriage: FORGET ABOUT IT!! Believe it or not your spouse “Gets you”~ You simply have to keep investing! If you have a bank account and don’t put any money into it, you are going to have NOTHING there to withdrawal.

 “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour” (1 Peter 5:8).

 Enjoy the now- Don’t worry about the future. Something will always be there to challenge the relationship, but if you dwell on that, it steals your joy today. Don’t let anything rob you of the beauty that can be enjoyed today, by worrying about tomorrow.

 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (Matthew 6:34).

 "You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11).

If tonight were to be my last~

If tonight were to be my last night, I would want my children to know how much I love them. Each one of them have brought so much joy into my life. I want them to know that I believe in them and that they are able to achieve all they set out to do.

If tonight were to be my last night, I would want my mother to know how much I love her and I'm thankful for the life that she poured into me through all these years. I wouldn't be half the woman I am without her.

If tonight were to be my last night, I would want my closest friends to know how much I cherish every minute that we've been friends. I'm thankful for all of the ups and downs that we've gone through. Thankful we've encouraged each other, and pushed each other along.  We've seen victories, and experienced defeat, and through it all have remained close. 

If tonight were to be my last night here, I would want my ex to know I'm thankful for the 17 years that we had together. While I hate the choices that were made, and how things turned out, I'll be forever grateful that I was able to experience the happiness that I had, and to have shared the celebration of the births of our four wonderful sons.

If tonight were to be my last night, I would want my church family to know how much they have impacted my life. Teaching me the basics, watching me grow, seeing me fall, helping me back up, encouraging me to press on, loving me, and running the race with me.  I would want those who encouraged me to use the gift that God gave me in my voice to know that they helped me to grow closer to the Lord as it is such a way to communicate with Him.

If tonight were to be my last night, I would want all to know that I'm in a better place. Because God gave His only Son to die on a cruel cross because of my sin, and took the punishment that was mine. Thankfully, because I chose to believe in Him, accepted Him as my Savior, and asked Him to live in my heart, I get to spend eternity with Him.

If tonight were to be my last night, don't cry for me. Live your lives in the freedom of God's gift of life through Jesus Christ.  

We do not know when our last day will be.  Tell your loved ones that you love them!

Anxiety and depression~

"Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad" (Proverbs 12:25).  Having dealt with (battled!) depression myself for a number of years (it still rears it's UGLY head sometimes), I understand how consuming it can be.  There are days when you think that you just can't handle it anymore; want to curl up in a dark corner and have it all stop (and I mean ALL!).  After being on it for three years, I am happy to say that I have been completely off medicine for the last six years.  (I am not ashamed to admit that I needed help.)  It is not without some bad days, but they are bearable days, and some days in need of talking to my best friend(s) to help pull me out so that I don't sink farther into it.  I am so thankful that Christ is in my life, and that He provides me the strength that I need, and lifts my head.  There are so many people that are afraid to address it, afraid to talk about it, think that it is shameful, or disgraceful.  It is real; just as real as if your eyesight was failing and you needed glasses, or if you had a heart condition and needed to take medicine.  If you know someone, or are someone who suffers from this, please don't be afraid to talk about it!  It is NOT shameful, it is NOT disgraceful...  I don't think God would have used the word depression in His Word if it was not something that we would have to face.

Waves~

The water and waves are crashing all around me; pulling me under.  Attempts are made to reach the shore, but the harder the fight, the fiercer the waves.  I am going under.  The shore is in sight and looks so lovely; the sun shining, the palm trees so tall and vibrant, yet the escape isn’t happening.  The water violently takes me under, tossing me in the cold waters, beating my body on the harsh ocean floor.  Panic has taken over. 

Keep going~

My closest friends know my struggles.  I'm not living the life that I dreamed, or imagined.  I know that I am in the hands of my God, I am living His plans, and know they are better than any I had . 

It doesn't mean that being a single parent of 4 boys (mostly without support from parent #2), going to bed alone every night, managing the household, finances, schedules, and day to day tasks don't get to me... stress me out... get me down...

So if you see a sad post, wonder about me, think I'm a downer, share too much... it's just life.  We all have struggles... some of us share them.  I'm real.  I hurt.

Some people cannot relate to my struggles, yet sadly, some can.  I hope that my posts are able to minister to at least one of them... ♡

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God" (2 Corinthians 1: 3-4).